two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
