i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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