:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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