I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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