I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
