Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
