he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize