Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Randomize
