are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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