saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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