I wish my penis had an off switch
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
