I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
