lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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