I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
