Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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