i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
