i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize