His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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