I must be too annoying 4 u.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
