farters have to be the big spoon...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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