dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
