I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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