we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
