then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize