I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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