just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
