He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
