the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
