so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
