I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
