Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
