Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
