We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize