Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
