well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i think i just lost a toe
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
