your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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