i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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