Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
