How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize