the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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