I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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