Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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