i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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