Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
