My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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