Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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