He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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