so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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