garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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