NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
