Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
