Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
