Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
