The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
