okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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