You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
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