Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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