I think I won the penis lottery.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just found a bag of teeth...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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