that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
