i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
